Awesomeness from London Fashion Week

I'm going to give up apologizing for all of my posts being fashion-related lately. I write about things that are influencing me, and this is what I've been obsessed with lately. I do promise some regular posts soon, though! Lots going on in Crystal-land.

But let's talk London Fashion Week for a second. Tell me what is unusual and a little bit awesome about these photos:







The first two are from Mark Fast's Fall 2010 RTW collection. I am not a fan of his designs in general- I don't think he has the understanding of how to work with a woman's body that some designers have (and I haaaate the styling on this particular show, it just looks trashy). But o-m-g. Actual plus-sized models. On the runway. At fashion week. In a show with "regular" models. Even if I hate your clothes, this gets a thumbs-up from me!

For the record, it's not just the plus sized designs I dislike from his line. Even the stick-thin girls look... unflattering:



I think the third photo is my favorite, though. Hellooooo, Granny! That one is from Sykes Fall 2010 RTW. I don't even know what to say beyond HOW COOL IS THAT? Fashion should be about doing the unexpected, pushing boundaries, shaking things up. How cool to have models that make the statement that you don't have to be 20 years old and 98 pounds to be fashionable?

A "plus-sized" (aka something like size 8, which I would only be if I was just this side of starved to death) girl won America's Next Top Model a few years ago. "The girl on page 194" in a recent issue of Glamour magazine got people buzzing as women freaked out about seeing an image they could actually relate to. (It was a big deal, y'all. Google "the girl on page 194". Behold! Or check out examples of people's reactions here, here, here or here or... you get the point.) I hate when people refer to curvier girls as "REAL" women, because ALL women are real women. We're different shapes and sizes and colors and ages and personalities, and we are all flawed, and we are all beautiful.

Obviously, there is also a lot of resistance to this type of thing. Last season, when Fast first used plus-sized models mixed in with his runway, "his show stylist quit over the designer's insistence on including three models from a plus agency on the runway amongst regular girls." (quote from style.com)

I can imagine the shock of being audience when Fast opened the show with THIS look:



I mean HELLO! Normally when you see larger models in a sexy dress, it looks like this:



(Which I actually think is much sexier, but you get the point.)

However, when he used plus sized models again this season, it still caused a stir, but not to the same extent. If he continues, and maybe a few other designers join in, will this eventually seem normal?

The world is changing, and I'm excited for the crazy, fascinating ride!

McQueen is dead, Long live McQueen.

Can I take a moment to mourn the death of Alexander McQueen?

(Sorry, btw, that this seems to be turning into a fashion blog lately! I tend to get obsessed with random things for periods of time, and right now this is it. I promise non-design stuff soon!)

His Spring 2010 ready to wear collection blew my mind. The idea was, to quote style.com,
"an apocalyptic forecast of the future ecological meltdown of the world: Humankind is made up of creatures that evolved from the sea, and we may be heading back to an underwater future as the ice cap dissolves."

The more reptilian side of the collection didn't appeal to me much, but the sea side...











The hair and makeup had me totally convinced that these guys live in the depths of the sea.




The Little Mermaid WISHES she had these shoes!


And THESE are my new obsession:





My heart still belongs to the Ann Demeulemeester Fall 2008 triple lace boots, but if these found their way into my life, I think we could be very happy together. I wonder how tall those would make me?





I got so excited scrolling through the pictures of this collection that I momentarily forgot WHY I was digging up picture for this post. I found myself excited to see what would come next, but of course, there is no next. Sadness.

Check out past Alexander McQueen collections here. And then slip into a pair of shoes that look like bedazzled armadillos to mourn.

molto bene, del gatto

This spread in Italian Vogue has made me totally rethink my future crazy cat lady aesthetic:






New To Do List:
*Find kitty-sized sunglasses
*Decorate bathroom in awesome blue tiles
*Teach cats to play guitar
*Procure snazzy pink wallpaper and lots of yarn

Please donate a zillion dollars to the "Crystal needs new clothes" fund!

These are my favorite boots. Or at least they have been for a long time, but they are now literally falling apart! Add the fact that little chunks of the faux leather type exterior fall off every time I put them on to my recent drooling over awesome shoes (see previous post), and I decided to head to the fancy schmancy mall in Orlando to try on totally overpriced stuff I can't afford.



I started out here:



At the top of the escalator, my bellydancer gene kicked in, and I was instantly drawn to shiny things!



This slip is by Free People, and is something like a billion dollars. (Okay, i think $78.) It's kind of an awkward length- too short to wear as a dress (for me, at least!), but too long to be a shirt due to how stiff it is. It did kind of make me feel like a Vegas showgirl, though, so lots of points for being fun!

I almost didn't try on the second one, but I'm glad I did!



I reeeally wish I'd gotten a better picture of this one, because I LOVED it! It had fewer sequins than the first, so it wasn't as stiff, very light. And I never wear gold or white (this is white material with gold sequins), but somehow these colors looked so good on me!

So, shopping lesson #1- don't wear a bright red bra when you are going to try on a bunch of clothes! But besides the $$$, I couldn't get this because I don't have a bra that would work with it. Given that my cup runneth over, I can almost never find strapless bras that actually work, and wearing one with straps with this kinda kills it. Plus the bra would obviously need to be a nude color, since we see how bright colors work out above!


Close-up of the fabric over jeans

They're both made by Free People, btw, which might be my new favorite clothing brand. I tried on a ton of their stuff! And this slip comes in all kinds of colors- I totally want the silver, too!






They do all kinds of layering pieces. LOVE!



I looove this sheer ballerina slip! I would never have the body to pull it off, though!

Next stop, Anthropologie!

I could LIVE in Anthropologie. It's one of my favorite stores ever! I totally fell in love with this top:




Sadly it is $98, so I'm going to have to wait till it hits ebay, or win the lottery!

I also love this shirt from Anthropologie, but didn't see it in the store:



My final stop was Macys, where I through I would just pop in, but ended up with a ginormous pile of stuff in the dressing room!

I made a total dork of myself stopping upstairs to take pictures of the awesome white butterfly display hanging from the ceiling:

(At least I think it was Macy's with the butterflies! It may have been Neiman Marcus. But all the following clothes are def. Macy's!)

Another one I fell seriously in love with, this top from Guess! It's such a flattering shape, and the leather accent is amazing! This is what the back looks like:

I am seriously considering going back to get this. It is $54, but Macys is having a wear red sale where you can get 20% off if you wear red, so that drops it down to... well, still more than I should be spending. But man is it tempting!!

I just have to point out one more thing:




How awesome is it that the shirt looks better on me than on the model?? In what alternate universe does THAT ever happen? Hello, ego boost! YAY for boobs!

When I picked up this shirt, I also decided to try the jacket/wrap thing that was on display with it, even though it isn't my usual style:





Ok, so this one does look better on the model, but I loooove it! It's not quite a sweater, because it doesn't close, more like a wrap with arms? Or if a sweater and a big scarf had a love child. ($79 from Guess)



This one is by Weston Wear, but I haven't been able to find it online! Hard to see in this dark dressing room pic, but there is a seriously fun ruffle thing on the shoulder!



Pardon the bra, again. This top is by Jaloux, and again I can't find it online! I really considered this one, it's my favorite shape for a shirt, and it's sheer in places and solid in others, so you get little peeks of skin here and there without showing too much (except I kind of am here, sorry!).

One more top by Free People:



If it were longer, I probably would have liked it! I'm 5'11, so a lot of shirts tend to be too short on me. Too short + voluminous fabric = hello, 20 extra lbs!



I have no idea who these last two are made by, sadness!





I didn't buy anything, and actually left kind of bummed because I couldn't bring anything with me!

Do you like trying clothes on just for fun, even when you know you are broke, or does it just depress you?

Shooooooes!

Ten pairs of boots and shoes I would buy if I suddenly had a bazillion dollars:



Maison Martin Margiela Cut-Out Knee-High Boot

It's a high heel! It's a boot! I looooves it!



Alexander McQueen leather ankle boots

I can see wearing these with pretty much anything!




Alexander McQueen multi-zip leather boots

I need these! They have little skulls on the zillers! And they're just... mmmmm!




Ann Demeulemeester Triple Lace Boots

These are my new favorite boots in the whole wide worldiverse! If they weren't $2000, I would buy them today! The last time I fell in love this hard was the Kenneth Cole Stitchless shoes like five years ago, which I did finally end up buying on ebay. Those, however, were $160 shoes, and these are $2000, but maybe someday we will be together!




Christian Louboutin Very Galaxy Platform Pumps

Just in case I ever wind up at Studio 54




Burberry Laser Cut Lace Boots

We loooves them, the precious!!!



Christian Louboutin Jessica 100 knee high boots
They look comfy! And awesome! And... more awesome!


Loubitin python pumps- I love them! I would feel like a serpent! Hiss!~~~



Studio 120 peep-toe pumps


Gucci Helena Cutout Boots

There is no way I would be able to walk in these, but I would probably just sit around and snuggle them and breathe in the leathery smell! But if I ever did learn to walk in them, I would probably wear them everywhere. Can't you picture these with my work uniform? Me, either.

I wish I had prices, so I could give you a grand total for this page! Imagine something higher than what I paid for my car, I am sure!

The voice behind the news

There was a discussion on the radio earlier that I'm trying to decide how I feel about, so I thought I'd post here and ask for your opinions.

In a nearby town, a man came off an exit ramp at a bad angle and ended up with his car in a retention pond. He called 911, and was calm for most of the call, until the last 30 seconds or so when he started freaking out that he couldn't get out, and was starting to panic. The man ended up drowning, and the debate has been on if news companies should play the 911 audio or not.

Should the news play this kind of audio? Would you want to hear it? Does it add a level of interest to the story, or is it totally insensitive? Have we become desensetized to this kind of thing from movies and tv? Would it make a difference to your opinion if it was a video instead of audio? If it was you, would you want people to hear your last phone call, or have it kept private? Is playing the audio in bad taste, or just a normal part of journalism?

Click here to read the story on the Orlando Sentinel's site. I'm told the audio is already on youtube, if you fall in the "want to hear it" crowd.

How to screw kids up for life

The Buckethead Show recently did a feature on really screwed up old sex ed videos. These are a few they played and posted on their site that I felt the need to share with you guys.... However, please do not blame me if watching these makes you never want to have sex again, and if you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours, well... call me.

a) I love that the kid has a "Make Love, Not War" poster on the door. Oddly fitting.

b) OMG, Mom, have this talk later! For now, maybe stick with "Sorry!" Yeesh.

c) Um, is the kid continuing his... business... while picturing his mom's face and echoing voice? EWW.

I think that I am randomly going to break out with the phrase "One never knows when the homosexual is about", because hello, awesome. I am pretty sure that if I printed it on red t-shirts, I could make a billion dollars the first week of June!

And just remember the lesson here kids: Hitchhiking is totally ok and safe, unless it is these guys picking you up:

This one is pretty long, but worth it. (That's what SHE said!)

I... don't know where to start. I think "Puberty? That would take a little explaining. Maybe later?" will be my new pickup line. And yes, many things were new to Billy, like conversations about penises while on a lawnmowing break. Wait, lawnmowing DATE break? (One never knows when the homosexual is about!!!)

The transition in there where the coach says "So that afternoon in the locker room...." I was 99.8% sure we were going to transition into porn. And then he says something about "your bodies are changing from boys to men", and I cry a little inside because nobody breaks out into Motown Philly or On Bended Knee.

Also, THAT IS THE WORST DRAWING OF A PENIS EVER. And parents, do you really want the guy who points to the middle of a drawing's chest as he says "and your face" teaching your kids about anatomy physiology? But he does have really pretty handwriting.

I love that in the credits of one, the boys are billed not by name, but "From the Boys Clubs of San Francisco". Can you imagine walking into the local Y today and saying "Hey, we need a group of young boys for a video about sex. Can we borrow a couple dozen for the afternoon?" (OMG, even in the safe haven of San Francisco, You never know when the homosexual might be about!!!)

You know, I kind of want to create a comic book superhero called The Homosexual, just because he already has a catch phrase.

Anyway, there is also a part 2 to this one, but other than one kid saying "Someone needs to give you guys the word!", it's not as awesome. Except the part about women giving birth to chickens. And the mental image of the coach sitting around in his office after school drawing up some diagrams of the uterus. And the part where he says "Well, what you want to know about is sexual intercourse. That happens like this..." and I am reeeally afraid to look because I think he might take off his pants.

There are a few more videos in the original post I linked to, including one that tells you not to square dance while on your period (but going on a picnic is ok!), and two that are, I kid you not, about teaching sex ed to people with mental disabilities.

I am pretty sure that when my currently nonexistant baby is born (his/her name is going to be Awesome Hardcore), I am just going to sit him/her down in front of this blog post and let youtube do the teachin'.

So, do you think the people in these films put these jobs on their acting resume? "Oh, I played a pedophile with a case of 'the gay' in a movie once!" or does little Jimmy have.... wait. I was going to write a possible character title for the kid in the first video, but I realized just how many unsavory google hits it might bring me. So let's just skip that, shall we? I fear you, Google!!!

And thus ends my short but illustrius career as a sex blogger. I think.