So, let's talk about my root canal today, shall we? The endodontist I went to was very cool, and they had all sorts of high-tech gadgetry that I didn't even know existed. They sure didn't have any of this stuff the last time I had a root canal! They had this very cool digital x-ray doodad that I had never even heard of, which uses only a percentage of the radiation that regular ones do, and pops the x-ray image instantly up onto the computer screen. However, about a ZILLION times cooler than that, they had movie goggles so that you can watch a movie while they work. Have you ever seen Lord of the Rings while high on Nitrus Oxide? I have never been so drugged up in my LIFE, I didn't even feel it when she stuck the needle in the roof of my mouth to deaden it. Add that to the fact that all I could see was the movie, and all of the drilling noises were masked by the movie sounds in my ears, and... did I mention I was drugged up bigtime? This is SO how Tolkien would have wanted his work to be enjoyed. I was seriously upset when she said I was finished, I wanted to ask her to do a few more teeth. I was only to the part where Gandalf goes to see Saruman, for the love of Peter Jackson! So, they take off my happy gas, hand me a chocolate Slim Fast and an Ibuprofin the size of a small house, and send me out the door. (I still have no idea what the Slim Fast was for. "Hey, not only do your teeth suck, but you're fat!" They claim they give it to you for protein reasons, but I'm still in doubt.)
So, I'm sitting in the car with mom, and all at once, the drugs wear off, and I'm back on solid ground. "Hey! Wait! Bring back the drugs!" I demand. Okay, so I'm still a little loopy at this point. "I wasn't done with my movie! May I please go back and continue the drugs and movies?" For some reason, my very own mother doesn't see the beautiful reasoning in this. I sit there sipping my Slim Fast, really pissed about this sudden lack of happy drugs being pumped in my nose. "Come back, drugs!"
At some point on the drive home, I remembered that I was actually supposed to *take* the painkiller they had given me, but since I couldn't swallow that pill if you paid me, I ended up biting it into more managable pieces, which I'm pretty darn sure you're not supposed to do, but I didn't care about much of anything at that point.
So, thanks to Karen and Monica filling in for me at work today, I got to lay around on the couch ALL DAY, reading and watching TV. Oh, and eating. For some reason, I was absolutely starving the minute I got out of the dentist's chair, and ate pretty much anything that would stand still long enough for the rest of the day. I'm tempted to pop Fellowship into the dvd player, but somehow I don't think it will ever be as good as it was today. I mean, come ON, they could have at least kept root canaling me until the Council of Elrond, couldn't they? I bet that Hugo Weaving saying "Dooooom!" is really great under the influence of the gas. Sadly, I guess I'll never know.
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