I hate needles.  I have hated needles since I was 2 and had to spend a week in the hospital for anemia, and they took my blood about every two minutes. 

HATE needles.

 

I cried when I had to give my horse shots, because I had to stab the needle in his neck.

 

Hate needles.

 

Anytime a movie or TV shows someone getting a shot or their blood drawn, I have to look away. 

 

Hate needles.

 

Thus, I'm getting acupuncture.

 

 

 

No, for real!

 

    Basically, I got really tired of STILL being sick.  I've had fluid in my ears for over a month and a half now, acid reflux for something like 6 years, and I've generally been feeling crappy for over a month now.  On my third visit to the doctor in a month, I passed by an acupuncture clinic and basically thought "What the hell?"

 

    A little internet research led me to discover that acupuncture is actually really good for some of the stuff I have, so I gave in and made an appointment.  Eep!

 

The basic idea, I've learned, is that the body has different paths of energy, called meridians.  Acupuncture taps into these, and balances the body's energy. 

 

 

 

 

The first thing we did at my appointment was go over the novel of paperwork I'd filled out, and discuss all of the stuff that is wrong with me.  She made a bunch of suggestions about how I should change my diet, since I basically eat crap, and suggested a few supplements that would help.  One of them is called Sea Nutrition, and it's a liquid made from sea vegetables, aloe, and coral calcium, and I am totally addicted to it!  Most nutritional supplement stuff tastes like crap, but this stuff is SO good.  I seriously want more than my one ounce per day.  (I think I'm going to start drinking it out of a shot glass, I'm so addicted to it.)  Is it possible to overdose on sea vegetables?

 

After that, we went into another room, and I laid down on the same basic type of reclining table that my chiropractor uses.  She did something weird to my feet for a minute- flexing them in different positions- which she said was a way of figuring out which spots she needed to use.  I still have no idea how this tells anything- I need to remember to ask!  After that, it was stabbing time!

 

  The first needle was in my leg, and didn’t hurt at all.  I felt a tap as it went in, but that was it.  Actually, none of the ones in my legs hurt.  But don’t buy the whole “You don’t feel it at all!” thing.  The one in the bottom of my foot?  It felt exactly like a needle being stuck in the bottom of your foot!  It felt like I got my foot pierced, but with no cool little diamond stud to show for it.  The ones in my hands hurt, too, but not as bad as the foot.  I had tiny little red marks on my hands the next day where those two were- they’re like my own little acupuncture stigmata!

 

Then, she brought out the little electric clips.  They look exactly like a miniature version of what you would use to jumpstart your car.  Did you know that acupuncture involved electricity?  I DID NOT, until this moment!  I managed to ask something along the lines of "What the hell are you planning to do with that?".  Sadly, I was too freaked out at the moment to remember now what the explanation was, but I must have bought it, because I let her do it.  She hooked the tiny clips on to each needle (except for my foot one), and turned on the electric current.  I can not begin to tell you how freaking weird this was!  The needles in my hands started to jump from the electricity, and I could feel it pulsing.  SO weird!  Then, she left me there for 20 minutes, suggesting I take a nap.

 

YEAH RIGHT!

 

I spent the next 20 minutes at war with my brain.  I knew I was ok, and that this wasn't going to hurt me, but my brain was saying "HOLY CRAP, there are needles in me!  Get em out!" and "WHAT THE HELL is this electricity stuff?  If something shocks me, I am supposed to STOP touching it!  HOW do I STOP?"  I tried to distract myself by singing songs in my head, but I still spent most of the time shaking.  I also spent time trying to figure out how many needles I had in my body, since I was so busy concentrating on not freaking out when she inserted them that I lost track.  I came up with a total of 7, but later when I asked, I learned that I had 9. 

 

Eventually she came back and turned the electricity off, disconnected the wires, and then removed the needles (yay!).  I felt woozy for a second after I got up, but after that I was fine. 

 

    Can I tell you how happy I am that I don't have to get any in my face or neck or ears?  I am doing okay with the lower body ones, but I don't think I could handle needles in my head, dude. 

 

  I searched YouTube for some fun acupuncture videos, but sadly, Oprah was about the best I could do. 

 

 

 

Seriously, Oprah, we didn't need that gratuitous clip of you getting your ears pierced. 

 

 She said that I need to go twice a week for a few weeks to get my body back on track.  My 2nd apointment was 2 days after the first, and it went pretty much the same.  I was much more relaxed this time, though, so the needles generally hurt less.  One of the electricity clips did pull the needle in my left arm into an odd angle though, which hurt.  I raised my arm to say "This one is being mean", but do you know what is not a good idea when you have a needle stuck an inch into your arm?  Using said arm.  The movement of the muscle with the needle stuck in it was also not fun!  I was at least able to relax enough to close my eyes while I laid there this time.  I think I'm still a few weeks away from anything resembling a nap, though.

 

   Tomorrow I go for appointment #3.  I honestly can't tell if it is helping yet, but I'm willing to give it a try for at least a few more weeks. 

 

Funniest acupuncture moment so far?  At the end of my 2nd treatment, the doctor came back into the room and said "Well, stick a fork in you, you're done!", at which I became wide-eyed and made it quite clear that nobody would be sticking anything else sharp in me today, thank you very much! 

 

On a mostly unrelated note- did I tell you guys that I got a summons for jury duty?  YUCK!  Jury duty in general is not popular among the masses, but I have an even worse case:  Since my ears are still not better, I still have trouble being able to drive and breathe at the same time, so I have been relying on my Mom to get me where I need to go (another reason I'm only working 3 days a week.)  It would be hell to get back and forth to jury duty (about half an hour away)! 

 

My summons was for the 9th, so I kept thinking I'd put off doing anything, since I'd HAVE to feel better by then, right?  At first I decided I'd make up my mind about what to do on the 1st, but about then I made my acupuncture apointments, so I decided to give that a try first.  Next thing I knew it was the 6th, and too late!  Luckily, when I called the number you are supposed to call the night before, it told me that the case had been postponed, and we didn't need to come until Wednesday.  HOORAY!  Well, I was just upstairs finding something to eat (it is technically 3am on Tuesday.), and wondered if the message would be up about Wednesday yet.  I gave it a call and... the case has been canceled!  I'm FREE!

 

The moral of the story?  Procrastination is ok!

 

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